The Pessimist

Corporate robber baron Robert "Big-Bobby" Nardelli, has managed to land himself a new job.

You may remember our friend, who was in the news earlier this year after being uncerimoniously fired from his $10 million a year C.E.O. job at Home Depot. During his 5 year tenure: the share price fell 8% the company did less well than their main competitor - Lowe's -, who's CEO was paid less. sales did not significantly increase, which was the primary objective in hiring Nardelli in the first place

Dispite this abysmal performance, the board gave Nardelli a $210 million severance package.

Martha Graybow, Reuters
Mr. Nardelli's exit package -- which includes US$20-million cash severance as well as a pension, deferred stock awards and stock options -- equals the annual incomes of about 10,000 retail stock clerks making an average US$21,000 a year.

Looked at from a few different angles:

• Nardelli's severance was equal to 2 weeks wages for the entire 350,000 Home Depot workforce. ie. they could have fired everybody in the company with two weeks severance for what they paid to get rid of Nardelli. (Of course, they wouldn't give the average employee any severance, except in jurisdictions requiring two weeks notice.)
• Divided by his annual salary and bonus, his servance equals 21 years of his own not inconsequential pay package.
• Divided by just his salary, he received the equivalent of 100 years

Julie Creswell, The New York Times
Even last year, when Home Depot's stock was unchanged, the board raised his salary 8 percent, to $2.164 million, and increased his bonus 22 percent, to $7 million.

Anyway, now Nardelli is going to save Chrysler for its new owners (the three headed dog Cerberus). Chrysler is no longer a publicly traded company, Cerberus having bought an 80% share from DaimlerChrysler. As a private company, they are under no obligation to disclose executive salaries so we can only speculate. The opening lie being told is that his salary is $1. (Seriously, no word "million" follows that dollar figure.)

DEE-ANN DURBIN Associated Press
Nardelli said Monday his compensation at Chrysler would be based on the company's performance, but he wouldn't give any more details. A company official familiar with his agreement said Nardelli would make $1 a year with further compensation based on performance. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because Nardelli's agreement isn't public.

But what is he going to do to earn that $1? For starters, he's going to carry out the existing cost cutting plan of eliminating 13,000 workers. After that, I imagine he will turn his sights on the remaining 80,000 North American employees. Do you think he will give everybody he lets go a nice package like he got from Home Depot, or like the one he has no doubt already agreed to with Cerberus? Or if he fails to turn around Chrysler's fortunes, do you think the three headed dog will rip him to pieces. Unlike previous board of directors he has stolen from, this time it is actually their money he is playing with.

ThePessimist would like to see the latter. But I'm afraid most of the blood will come from the work force.

Funniest line today ... "Nardelli said he hopes his Home Depot pay package doesn't become an issue [in the up-coming negotiations with the UAW]". Good luck with that.